finding more happiness

Photo via Flickr Creative Commons, user: tanaise

It's not that I am not happy. I am. But I could be happier.

There are things I let into my life that chip away at the happy I could be. Whether it's little things like when I want Tupperware I have to dig for 10 minutes looking for the corresponding lid or big things like a a bad attitude about my traveling husband, they affect me.

Over the holidays, I read "Happier at Home" by Gretchen Rubin, the Happiness Project guru. (Random sidebar: Rubin grew up three blocks from where we live right now. See? Destiny.) She addresses everything from the decor of her home, celebrating holidays, her attitude about her husband never telling her good job and the "mean face" she gives when her kids interrupt her.  I was super inspired to start my own home happiness project because I have a mean face that I am pretty sure can rival hers.

I've divided out my happiness focus into months but reserving the right to change topics as life changes.I also had to set some ground rules, mostly adopted from Rubin's book but also a few of my own.

The Rules
1. My happiness tasks cannot rely on anyone else but me.
I'd be happier if the hubs cleaned the litter pans twice a week, but I can't really control the success of that task so it's not on the list.

2. The tasks should not turn into a really long to-do list that makes me stressed.
It has to contribute to long-term happiness, not the short-term happiness of having my floors clean. Getting rid of our flea infestation would definitely make me happier for the rest of my life so it counts.

3.  I will give myself grace.
If I vow to not give the mean face, and I do - I'll try harder tomorrow. The happiness project should not send me to a therapist for a guilt complex.

First up in January: Reducing the Chaos!

obligatory resolutions post

Last year I didn't have time for resolutions because I was too busy trying to keep raw almonds and buttered noodles in my stomach and avoid smells like deodorant, cookies and lotion. Weird smellage and queasy stomach turned into a Henry.

There's something about this kid that makes me want to be a better person. So here it goes.

Get Henry to sleep in his crib or at least give it the good ol' college try.
We tried for four days. High-fived, rejoiced and then accepted defeat. We gave up because the holidays busted any semblance we had of a routine. Then on Christmas, Henry slept on his own but in our bed which means he does not need us particularly but just prefers a cozy bed to a stark crib. In this moment I realized a almost-five-month-old is bossing me around.

Routine and organization. Routine and organization.
I thrive on chaos but in a really unhealthy, angry sort of way. The fact I have multiple junk drawers, multiple to-do lists and a refrigerator that needs a hazmat crew makes me often feel like my world is falling apart. I will post about my actual plan to fix this when I find time to make a plan.

Do things to make my body less mushy.
I am back at or below my pre-preg weight but when they say your body changes, it's true. When I sit, there is this weird mushy stomach roll that I never have seen before. I got a Garmin Forerunner for Christmas last year. For my birthday, I got new running shoes. All signs point to me working running back into my life. See previous resolution.


Go on at least one date every month.
We thought we'd be immune from the post-baby marriage hurdles because we're best friends and love each other. We are not immune. It's hard to find a babysitter. Hard to have enough energy to want to dress up (i.e. something other than sweatpants and a ponytail) and go on a date. Hard to go on dates and not talk about running to Target afterward because I'm out of wipes. Hard to be light and happy when I am totally ticked off after discovering there are no diapers left and I have to get up at 3 a.m. to switch the dirty ones to the dryer so they are ready in time for daycare.

Pay it forward.
We've had a lot of people do a lot of really nice stuff for us. I fail miserably in doing enough for other people.  So I've decide in 2012, I'll focus on the other new moms in my life who need a friendly face in the hospital, a freezable dinner dropped off, a date night or just an encouraging email. I will be a better friend.