a broken world

People will make today about gun control, violent video games, homegrown terrorism and even why parents would bring a little baby to a midnight showing.


For the record, I hate guns and wish we could ban them. The fact that CNN can publish a robust timeline of mass shootings makes me ill. I would love to have a passionate debate about the craziness that this country does not have a ban on assault weapons.


Tomorrow.


But for today, I wish we could just be sad at the brokenness of our world.

I wish we could be sad for the victims - the terror, the fear, the death that occurred in an innocent place.

I wish we could be sad that the shooter felt this was his best course of action. Sad for whatever was happening inside of him that went unresolved.

I am sad that the shooter was described as a loner by his neighbors, as so often they are. I wonder if someone would have taken the time to get to know him if he wouldn't have felt the need. Or if he was just too sick in heart and mind for anything to be done.

I don't know why it all happens except for the fact we live in a world at the intersection of good and evil. For me, it's evidence of a God that loves so much that he's given us the freedom to choose between the two and who weeps when we choose evil.

But I hope today is less about politics and judgment and more about simple grief.


"Tragedy is more important than love. Out of all human events, it is tragedy alone that brings people out of their own petty desires and into awareness of other humans' suffering. Tragedy occurs in human lives so that we will learn to reach out and comfort others"
--C. S. Lewis

cover controversy

Not sure what to think about this week's TIME cover.

The stories are about Dr. Sears' attachment parenting theories, which we are of very partial proponents. But attachment parenting is so much more than extended breastfeeding. Co-sleeping and not always sticking your kid in a seat - carrying or wearing instead - perhaps an image that might have been a bit less polarizing.

More power to the women who can breastfeed their kids to the WHO's recommended two years or more. No judgement from me. But I wonder if this image turns people off even more to breastfeeding in an age when it's tough to get a mother to nurse (who can nurse) exclusively the first six months. Although, it would certainly be much more convenient if Henry could pull up a chair and nurse while I did dishes. Kidding...kind of.

It's a cover that makes you do a double take and probably buy a magazine. The journalist in me applauds the boldness. The breastfeeding mother in me cringes at the message it sends.

What do you think? Here's my favorite response.

public nursing

Places I have breastfed my baby:

- My desk at work

- A bar while watching college football

- A burger joint. A sushi restaurant. A barbecue dive.

- A college basketball game.

- The front seat of my car at a truck stop.

- On a bench at the mall.

- My husband's cubicle.

I am not obnoxious about it. Unless by accident, no one sees anything they would normally except an odd blanket covering my front or a huge baby head underneath my shirt. I am not out to prove anything but I am certainly not hiding anything.


The hubs actually directed me to a story about Kasey Kahne, a NASCAR driver, who started a public debate after he tweeted his disgust about public breastfeeding. Here are some comments from the ESPN article (grammar unedited):
 

"Breasfeeding in public and NASCAR are very similar in that they're both technically legal, but most people find it very distasteful and unnecessary"

Why people find breastfeeding disgusting and distasteful I can't understand except chalking it up to immaturity and ignorance. Unnecessary though? Babies that are exclusively breastfed (no formula, water, food) for at least six months are protected from a long list of viruses and infections.Breastfed children have less risk of developing diabetes, obesity, childhood cancers and inflammatory bowel diseases (source). Breastfeeding boosts intelligence, prevents allergies, lowers the risks of SIDS and reduce the mother's risk of depression and certain cancers. How lucky we are such a preventative is available naturally. No prescription needed. I'd say it's very, very necessary.

"If a man gets in trouble for taking a leak in public, why cant a woman for breastfeeding?"Clearly urinating and breastfeeding a child are unrelated. But this seemed to be the most common argument in support of Kahne. The two aren't even comparable. 

"We have restrooms for a reason."

I will breastfeed my child in a restroom stall the day you take your Big Mac and fries an proceed to eat it for 20 minutes in the same place people defecate.

"This is the 21st century. They invented pumps for a reason."

Except every bit of expressed milk I can muster I have to send to daycare the next day. It's like living paycheck to paycheck, and there is no extra. Pumping isn't as efficient as nursing so like hell I am going to waste a hard earned four ounces when my baby is with me.

"Privacy only takes 1 min to find."

 Actually it's not. And I am fairly certain the same people that think finding a private place to breastfeed is easy are the same folks who would shoot judging looks when my baby is screaming for food. My car might be an option but then I am expected to leave the table and sit in my car for 30 minutes, which in that case should have just stayed home. 

Only 13 percent are exclusively breastfed, maximizing the benefits, through six months, according to the CDC.Only 17 percent are breastfed for a full year which is what the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends. The World Health Organization still recommends at least two years of breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is a self-sacrificing commitment a mother makes to her baby and his or her health. It's not a convenient choice. Most days it's a whole lot of work, especially when you add in public outings, pumping at work and a baby with teeth.

It's a tough job for mothers already doing the toughest job. A natural, beautiful process that should be applauded, not viewed with disgust and ridicule.

much-needed conversation

I love college football.

My t-shirt drawer plastic bin underneath my bed is full of purple, K-State t-shirts. I don't bat an eye at spending the money for season tickets which also includes a 2-hour drive and giving up most of our fall weekends for games. I dyed my hair purple for a bowl game. I love the excitement, the smells, the traditions. Love it.

But I don't love it more than people.

I watched the Penn State saga unfold, first with sadness, now with horror. Students are taking to the streets in anger. One would assume it'd be anger over the horrifying silence of a coach, a president and other administrators about the rape of helpless little boys. But no. It's anger over a coach being held accountable, the fear of tainting a legacy or perhaps even just anger that the remaining three football games will not be the same.

My own little boy is next to me while I'm writing this. Smiling away, not a care in the world.  I think (and immediately panic) about the ways in which this world will take away his sweet innocence. I hope and pray that nothing this tragic ever crosses his path.

I don't know what happened for sure or who was involved. I trust that the justice system will deal with the action and inaction.

But there is a conversation that needs to take place, not just at Penn State but on all college campuses. A winning football team, a coach's legacy must take a backseat to the safety of our kids.