Tuesday, October 30, 2012

a new path

When Henry was a wee little baby, my full-time job was like a mini-vacation from a world of spit-up, diaper laundry, offensive smells and exhaustion with no distraction.

But as he's gotten older, the daycare drop off is less like the beginning of relief and more like a knot in my stomach. His personality, sense of humor and development is unfolding right before my eyes in the too few waking hours I get with him.

I admire the moms who can work, keep their houses clean, dinner on the table, bills paid, husbands happy and maintain inner sanity. For me, it just isn't possible, especially when you throw in marathon training and finishing up my master's degree. The days are exhausting and unfulfilling.

So last week I turned in my resignation letter, and accepted a 18-hour/week job. Still in my same general field which will allow me to continue growing career-wise with a great company but scale it back to spend more time with Henry and work on that whole balance thing. I am definitely blessed that financially we can take the hit after years of intense saving and debt eliminating.

I've struggled through the whole process of what it means for who I am. Now being a part-time worker, part-time stay at home is a mental shift I haven't fully grasped yet. For a Type Aer like me, diving into this world of ambiguity is scary.

But I'm excited to take the leap.


  1. Yay! Sounds like you and I are at the same crossroad. I too just resigned from my job. Let's chat this week. Would love to share our emotional roller oaster stories. Love you. Congratulations on this next venture. :)

  2. You will do fine - and surprise yourself along the way! When Mackie was born, I asked my job to cut down to part-time and do 28 hrs/week, with two days in the office and the rest of the hours at home. While I tend to work more than that from time to time, I LOVE the flexibility and my boss for understanding the importance of being at home most of the time.

    You'll find that it's nice to have some time away from the little man, but also be a major part of his day and life. It's the best of both worlds! Not to mention the FUN you have coming with him as he enters the toddler and preschool years. (and if or when a sibling comes in the future!)

    I will say that my type-A tendencies have really become type A- and even B tendencies as my children age. The house isn't as clean, I don't worry as much if I can't keep up with a full-fledged training regimen due to sick kiddos or no sleep, etc, etc. I don't think any mama has a perfectly clean house, homemade dinners every day, and everything perfect. It's not life! :)

    Enjoy it, mama. And CONGRATS for taking the leap!

  3. How awesome! I am so a Type-A personality as well. And being a SAHM has been a major adjustment. But a much-needed-in-a-good-way type. I feel really blessed that we can swing it financially (also debt-free through Dave Ramsey!) with just my husband working. However, when my hubby does leave for a back-to-back 3-day Sydney trip, I sometimes feel like I may cry... but it always turns out just fine. (And I think it's just the anxiety building up to it.)

    We have memberships everywhere! Well, mostly. The zoo membership has been a lifesaver. We go to MyGym twice a week, and the beach or park pretty much the rest of the time. The Aquarium is also a fun trip. And you're so right, this age is SO MUCH FUN. We love doing picnic lunches. Of course my routine is a little different when Rob is home vs when he's flying, but I wouldn't change a thing. And as a flight attendant, I couldn't even imagine continuing to work, leaving my little guy for days, and missing out on so much of his life. One day, I do hope to return to flying, but for now, being home is exactly where I need and want to be.

    ALSO... Wahine Half-marathon in April in Honolulu. I'm totally going to start training for it. You should consider it! :)

    How fun!

  4. Hi! I found your blog via google because I went running today for the first time in a month and was only able to do 2.5 mi before I got that annoying pain in my left knee! It was strange because I thought the time off would fix it, but apparently it just made me out of shape with worse pain, so I came to google for advice when I stumbled upon your blog. I was originally directed to a blog post you wrote in Sept 20120 called "icing it up" but I enjoyed the way you write so much that I continued reading your previous posts. I got to the one entitled, "damned either way" and after reading it, I wondered if you continue to keep your blog updated. I went to your home page and here you are....2 years later and we discover that you have chosen mommyhood, but still found a way to balance your career. You're awesome. :)