two sets of lines and a plus

It's amazing how two little pink lines can change everything.

I went home from work on Monday, Dec. 20. I had been sick all weekend blaming it on pizza and a bad K-State basketball loss. I was tired and wanted to throw up the cinnamon bread I had for breakfast. I told Shea that it was probably a stomach bug or my normal tummy troubles.

At lunch, I took a test I already had stashed in a drawer - just to be sure I could indulge in the hot chocolate and Bailey's at our Christmas party that night. Five seconds of pee, and 30 seconds later a cross sign appeared. Shaking, I came out of the bathroom and shoved the test in Shea's face. His reaction? Grabbed the camera and took a picture of it. For the blog, duh!

My reaction: WE HAVE TO GO TO WALGREENS. RIGHT. NOW.

And we were off to buy two more tests in a different brand. Two more positives. Later, a blood test (to which I had to bring a barf bag along). Also "clearly" positive.

In the spirit of oversharing, I'd stop taking my pills in August. I was told at age 16 that I needed to take the pill until I wanted to get pregnant due to risk of endometriosis. The doctor told us it'd take four to six months for my body to adjust after so many years of hormones. So in September, I took my last pill thinking by spring time we could actually start trying.

It took awhile, but in October I got my period. Then in November I didn't. I took a test, and it was negative. After pushing 40-something days of no period, my doctor said to wait 90 days and then come see her. It was probably that my body wasn't even releasing eggs. Turns out, it was. When I got the positive tests I was actually already eight weeks pregnant.

I know we're lucky. 

We never had to go through the trying period. I never had to worry in a real way if we'd be able to have a baby like the anxiety many of my friends deal with. It just happened, on God's timing, not ours. I ran a half marathon the month before we got pregnant so my body is ready. We are finishing up a lease on our small apartment and can move into a two-bedroom just in time. We are both employed. We have supportive family and friends. And though daycare is expensive, we can make it work.

For awhile, I feared that because it happened so easily, it would just as easily be taken away from me. Now I'm calming down and just feeling blessed. 

And terrified. And excited. And really, really tired. All because of two pink lines.