Wednesday, January 5, 2011

postal hell

After considering leaving my newly repaired wedding ring at the post office to avoid the horrors of actually going to the post office, I relented. However, my strategy was in place.

{not my actual post office, but similar torture scene}

Tip #1; Avoid lunch time, and closing time
Smartly I thought, I went at 2 p.m., avoiding the business lunch crowd - "Hi, I'd like 45 rolls of stamps, and then I'd like to mail this with delivery confirmation, tracking, signature required, expedited and YES, there is something liquid in this. By tomorrow."

Tip #2; Avoid the elderly
The strategy continued as I pulled into the parking lot and saw an elderly couple with two huge boxes. I booked it to avoid having to stand behind them in line. However, unrelated elderly man stopped me by grabbing the side of my coat and yelling "you must have been in the service." Me: "What?" Elder man: "Yeah! From the way you walk, you must have been an Army girl." Me: "Oh. No. I am just in a hurry." Elder man: "Well there's a huge line honey, you won't be going anywhere." FAIL.

Tip #3; If you are going to stand in line, enjoy the crazy company
I walk in to find 14 people in line. How many employees working? One, of course. Within five seconds, the following scene occurs:

Man with red scarf: "Where's the complaint form? I want to speak to a manager!"
Woman next to me: "Psst. That guy wants to fill out a complaint form. That won't make the line move any faster."

Man with wife tugging at his jacket and sshing him: "Is anyone else working here?"
Poor employee: "Yes..well, yes there are people here."
Man with wife now hanging head in shame: "I don't see them! Where are they?!"

Tip #4; Avoid people who have not mailed a letter since 1940

Poor employee announced to the current customer that this location was out of Forever stamps.


When crazy woman gets to front of line she then is very confused about the 44 cent stamp. Does it take one stamp to mail a letter? When are the Forever stamps coming back? Those are clearly less confusing then those regular stamps with numbers on them.

Bottom line, I got my shiny ring with all the diamonds in the right places and all the prongs checked. I have to go back tomorrow to mail my passport application. I feel a migraine coming on already.

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