galloping heart

I've been pregnant for three months now but until yesterday it just felt like an annoying virus. A virus with intense nausea and dry heaving. And abdominal cramping and shortness of breath. Then came the extreme exhaustion. Worse than the exhaustion I felt after a long run. Then the peeing five times a night and the HUNGER cured only by peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at 4 a.m.

But still, no real evidence that a baby was causing this.

Then yesterday, we heard the evidence that in fact, there was a baby in there! I was warned that it might take a few minutes to find it. After a minute or so plus some deep breaths heavy with anxiety, little baby appeared. Like galloping horses in a tunnel.

In the moment, I was relieved. Shea was the emotional one. Now, every time I watch it and see the smile on my face as the heartbeat appears, I cry.

Our friend from church had us over for dinner (a becoming weekly tradition) and surprised us with a happy heartbeat cake. Because it was a very big day.

Now it feels real. There is a real live baby in there. A baby - who is now the size of a plum - that is loved. And who has the most beautiful heartbeat.