an epically bad day

3 a.m. Wake up to sound of dog peeing on floor. Realize dog also peed on the only three blankets clean in a cold house.

3:15 a.m. Finish cleaning up dog pee and stripping bed.

3:40 a.m. Finally go back to sleep, shivering, only to be awakened by dog peeing again. (note: dog is mad that he has moved to a new house and has been relegated to floor sleeping in anticipation baby's arrival.)

3:45 a.m. Finish cleaning up dog pee, number 2. Scream at dog until he runs into basement. Consider if the pound is open at 4 a.m.

4 a.m. Husband tries to cuddle because it's cold and there are no blankets. However husband cannot sleep because he's mad about dog and keeps moving around. Wife, 25 weeks pregnant, flies out of bed and sleeps on couch in absolute desperation for sleep.

8:15 a.m. Arrive at work 15 minutes late.

8:35 a.m. AT&T calls and will be at house in 10 minutes to turn on DSL internet which is needed to finish grad school paper. Husband already left for work so wife races home.

8:50 a.m. AT&T man finds that phone lines wrapped around tree limb and cut in half. New phone lines needed.

8:55 a.m. Toilet, which requires a jiggle to stop running, overflows. All over bathroom and hallway.

9 a.m. Dog, sensing owner on the brink of emotional breakdown, pees while running the entire length of house.

9:05 a.m. Wife calls husband, bawling, reporting events of last 10 minutes. Husband has meeting and cannot do anything about this.

9:15 a.m. Wife attempts to make the best of situation and unpack boxes in sunroom. Opens blinds for light and entire set of blinds crashes to floor. Dog now screaming in basement.

9:20 a.m. Wife calls husband, this time hysterical about how she's hungry, exhausted, pregnant, and CANNOT HANDLE THIS anymore.

9:45 a.m. Husband arrives home to save wife. Wife drives back to work and calls mom in tears. Mom promises to come this weekend and fix everything because that's what moms do.

10:30 a.m. Wife back at work. Receives email from previous landlord saying apartment is not clean enough even though three girls cleaned for three hours. It's a $135 fine or a return to apartment to clean more.

10:45 a.m. Wife cries again.

11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Wife has less dramatic work day while trying to study intermittently for final worth half her grade.

5:30 p.m. Wife realizes that final starts in 15 minutes, and she neglected to bring dinner. Chokes down almonds and raisins hoping that sustains her pregnant, emotional, tired, angry self. For a final. Worth half her grade. That she needs an A on.