shut down

A week and a half ago, I ran 18 miles. The farthest I have ever run and only six weeks, just two long training runs short of the marathon.

My foot started hurting but a short one without much pain. It was sore and a little stabby but three and a half hours of running would do that to a foot.

But then it kept getting worse to the point I was having trouble falling asleep because the pain was so intense.  - before the Vicodin that is. A visit to the doctor got me an order for an MRI to detect either soft tissue injury or a stress fracture. But, turns out the MRI would cost us at least $700, which most likely the same result - me not running. A stress fracture means no running and soft tissue means only run if it doesn't hurt. And people, it hurts.

I decided to forgo the expensive test and face the facts there will be no Jan. 20 marathon. The doctor has given me four days to soak my foot in a ice bucket five times a day. If no improvement, this foot is in a cast come Monday.

It is way more defeating than I expected. Once the decision was made, the tears flowed. The thought of starting this journey all over again makes me feel angry. The cold early mornings, the weekend afternoons sacrificed to shoes and pavement, all to be done over again.

I'm positive there is a marathon finish line in my future. Just not this one.

Sulk.

halfway through and a half

This weekend I ran the North Face Endurance Challenge Half Marathon in Kansas City. The North Face race series features mostly trail races but added the road challenge in KC last year. They tried it out in August last year and probably discovered that asking people to be outside, let alone run outside, in August was a huge mistake.

So this year, the November date meant temperatures of 39 degrees at the start, which is a completely ambiguous temperature for running clothes. I started my morning with a slice of peanut butter toast and half a banana. And of course, coffee.

We stood in line for the potty as our wave wasn't supposed to start til 7:16 a.m. Race organizers decided to start everyone at once though and by the time we got to the starting line, the half marathon was gone. Sigh.

The course was SUPER hilly. Kansas City races are notorious hilly but this was a combo of the worst. My stomach felt great and it wasn't til the last mile that my hips were burning. The IT band held up just fine.

Seriously fun though. The last half I ran, I did alone. This one I got to talk to my friend Wendy the entire way. Much more tolerable. Also didn't hurt to have my parents, the hubs and of course the cutest fan ever to cheer me on.

I have no idea fast  slow I finished because the chip time shows everyone starting at the same time. Which we know isn't true. Everyone also complained the course was a half mile too long. Luckily this was for race experience and not the end goal.

The half also marks the second half of my full marathon training. To be honest, I am tired. And slightly bored. The mid-week runs are up to 4-8-4 and my next long run is a 17-miler on Sunday. It takes so much time and energy that it's making me cranky. But the thought of starting all over again, is a much less appealing option.

So I'll keep on plugging away. Eight miles tomorrow, 17 on Sunday. Bring it on.

the value of rest (and stretching)

I took 10 days off running.

My hip hurt. When my hip hurt, my knee hurt. And sometimes when my knee hurt, my ankle and toes hurt too. And most of my highly qualified internet diagnoses included the warning, "do not try to run through the pain."

So I finally listed and stopped. For 10 whole days, I thought about what was going wrong.

1. I suck at mid-week runs. I am busy in the evenings, the mornings are hard not that it's dark and when the hubs is out of town, I have to stick with Henry. When I don't do the mid-week runs I need to do and only do long runs, it's forcing my body to do way more than it's really strong enough for yet. Even though I can run nine miles just fine.

2. I don't like stretching. I do the obligatory ones at the end of my run, but I don't really stretch the way I should. So now, I have a trusty foam roller to help with my IT band and have spent more time doing the long, slow stretches my body needs to recover.

3. I don't cross-train regularly. It's starting to sound like I am a marathon training disaster. But, rewind to the busyness, it's really hard to get my runs in AND cross-train other than a long walk with the fam. I have a free gym membership with my grad student status, so I think it's high time I get acquainted with a gym.

I ran 8 miles Sunday on the most gorgeous fall day in Kansas City ever so I'm back on track, hopefully.

I'm getting excited for the North Face half marathon in just 32 days! KC Friends, if you haven't registered, the price goes up Wednesday.

oh my hip!

It came on slowly and ended with a big painful ache.

My left hip hurts. And when it was at its worst, my knee hurt.

I self-diagnosed IT band syndrome and stockpiled my foam roller, ice packs and ibuprofen. Still, when I got up from a long session of sitting at my desk, I cringed in pain.

The only thing that fixed it was a long hot bath and a glass of Pinot Gris.

All this means no running. Luckily(?) it happened on a step-back week when I was only supposed to run six miles. This next weekend though is a looming 11 miles. Tomorrow I'll be back at it with a slow three mile run to see how the ol' hip does. Then, hopefully, ramp back up to full training.

I have a sports medicine appointment for Oct. 25, which is the soonest appointment time AFTER my begging.

If a bubble bath and glass of wine are the only things that keep me on track for my training, so be it.

pushing new limits

I ran nine miles Saturday. When I trained for my first half two years ago, I was talking about stomach cramps, calf pain and adding more long runs to my training so I wouldn't lose confidence.

This time around, I ran nine miles, had breakfast with friends and took care of a hyper toddler for seven hours by myself. No stomach cramps, but some pretty annoying hip pain and sore feet.

This time, I am following the Higdon Novice 2 program. For a full marathon, which we aren't talking about yet. So by the time I run the half marathon, I will have already run 14 miles, and the half marathon will actually be a step down week where I am letting my body recover a bit.

The theme of the North Face Endurance Challenge is just to challenge yourself. Probably meant for the 50K folks who really push themselves to the limit, physically.

For me, the challenge is finding energy and time to run with our crazy life. So far it's working on weekends, not as well during the week. Yet I feel stronger and more confident than I did last time around.

The race has anything from a 5k to 50k. Ready to challenge yourself?

running for real + a cute tailgater

It feels good to be back.

I ran more than seven miles Saturday, which feels like I'm really training now. Running has become a family affair as the hubs took Henry in the jogging stroller for a run at the park while I set out for my long run. 

My running partner was out of town this weekend so I slogged through it solo. I am out of practice though and forgot to bring any sort of fuel or water. Luckily a local running group sets up water stations along my route, and I borrowed a cup. It still took me the rest of the weekend to refuel and hydrate.

I have 61 Days until the North Face Endurance Challenge half marathon here in KC. I feel stronger than I did two years ago. Last time around, I ran fast but had to walk routinely to catch my breath. This time, I've started at a slower pace and don't have to walk. Speed can come gradually, though I don't really care.

We jumped in the car after my run to head to a K-State tailgate where Henry hammed it up with the basketball team.

Another good weekend in the books!

the return, hopefully

Photo via  http://becausewecandoit.tumblr.com

I ran this week.

I could stop this blog post there, and it'd be significant enough. I am not here to make any public declarations like I did two years ago.

Maybe it's in the back of my mind, but I'm not setting myself up for that kind of public failure so late into the summer running months.

It's been hard the last two years. I ran until I was five months pregnant or so but it was winter and then my hips hurt a lot and Henry dropped really early so walking alone was a challenge. Then I had a baby who did not sleep through the night til...a week ago? And nursing was demanding. Plenty of excuses to pick from.

I hate the beginning. It hurts my calves, my hips, my lungs and my pride. It's almost worse starting from a beginner's place knowing what my body is actually capable of.

But hey, some cheesy philosopher person said a journey begins with a single step. According to the internets, I probably took 14,784 steps. A good start.

health challenge

 
A few weeks ago we started a health challenge run by our personal trainer friend, Becky. I'm doing it to lose my last four pounds and get some abs back. Shea is doing it because I said so.

We get points for good behaviors each day.

• Two fruits (this is my most challenging item.Winter fruit bites it.)
• Three vegetables
• 64 ounces of water
• 30 minutes of cardio
• Strength training (abs, arm weights, holding baby)

We each picked one behavior we are going to work on throughout the challenge. Mine is two desserts or less per week. I'm not really a dessert fan but considering this challenge runs through a time when there are white chocolate pretzels, fudge and pumpkin pie available in large quantities, it's going to be tough.

Cardio has proved really challenging (read: non-existent) in Minnesota this week. It snowed. And it's cold. And being outside stinks.

My goal was to register for the Rock the Parkway half marathon after getting back into a healthy routine through the challenge. But working out while taking care of a wee little baby is proving to be more than hard. Especially when I start work and only get a couple hours a night with the little man (sob).

Tips?

i miss running

We went on a three mile walk Sunday morning and the weather was perfect... for running.

I promised myself I'd keep running when pregnant. I read all those inspiration blog posts and articles about women that ran up until the day they gave birth or ran a half marathon while five months pregnant. I was sure that'd be me. And then I got pregnant.

I ran fairly normal in the first month. Then I got sick for five weeks, and had trouble sitting up without vomiting or falling asleep, let alone running. Then it was winter, which means cold and icy plus two graduate school classes and increasing stress level at work. I tried running again, three and four miles at a time in February. March was vacation which didn't involve running but did include 16 miles worth of bike riding.

Now it's already mid-April. Although our Sunday morning walk, fueled by a pancake breakfast in bed, was good it just isn't the same. I miss running (and my waist).

I didn't think it'd be easy but I really didn't think it'd be that hard. I didn't really anticipate the 12-pound weight gain in the belly would matter that much. Or the shortness of breath would actually mean I would be gasping for oxygen at the end of each block. I never knew about the shooting pains to the crotch.

There are days when finding protein or getting my aching hips massaged is a much higher priority than working out. But now that my energy has returned I have to do better because they tell me it's going to get harder in the third trimester (just five weeks away!). And you know, supposedly labor is hard work.

First, finish grad school paper, study for two finals, move from apartment to house, conquer work to-do list, find childbirth class and decorate nursery. Then, run.

running pregnant

I swore when I got pregnant I'd be that girl out running on the streets with a little round belly. I mean, I knew I'd be tired but I used to run at 5 a.m. I could do it. These people did it, why couldn't I?

"You don't understand what tiredness is until you are pregnant." Amen.

I ran 5.3 miles and then 4 miles when I was about six weeks pregnant and didn't know it. Then I got sick as a dog at eight weeks and though I attempted to run/walk/elliptical a few times, Sunday was the first time I really ran. Three miles, though not like I used to.

In October, I ran somewhere between 9-10 minute miles on long runs. I could sprint a mile at much faster than that. Now? An 11-12 minute mile is enough of a challenge.

Running is completely possible during pregnancy but there's a lot of rules. I have to stop because I can tell my heart rate is climbing and sweat is starting to form on my temples. I get out of breath more quickly. But the benefits far outweigh the annoyance of my huffing and puffing.

Benefits of pregnancy running
Reduces complications during labor, leads to shorter labors, reduced chance of c-section (source)
Helps with constipation, backaches and insomnia (source)
Reduces chance of gestational diabetes (source)
Lower rates for pre-term labor and miscarriage (source)
Easier to lose weight and regain fitness level after birth (source)

Reducing labor time? I'll keep running.

where to go from here

Not running this week due to the fact I have contracted the plague (or a common cold) has given me time to decide what the fall and winter hold for my running routine.

I've decided that training for a full right away doesn't make sense. I won't be ready for an early December marathon and the January ones, though awesome, involve expensive entry fees, travel and hotels. Plus boosting my winter running wardrobe to accommodate that much running is a pricey endeavor in itself. 

But I am not good at just running for the heck of it so I created some goals.

Race goals

The Great Santa 5k Run  - 12/5/10

St. Patrick's Day 4-mile Run - 3/2011

Rock the Parkway Half Marathon - 4/2/2011

Fitness goals

Strength training focusing on core (ugh, abs) and hips
Maintain three-day a week running routine with long runs every other weekend
Get faster (ugh, speed training)
Cross training on bike or elliptical

I slightly have my eye on the Twin Cities Marathon in October 2011. Slightly because a lot of life could happen between now and then. You just never know.

all my snot

I am super anxious to run again but this plague of a cold I'm fighting has prevented me from doing anything but moan and leave wads for Kleenexes around the house - something the hubby appreciates. "Ugh, I just realized I slept with two of your Kleenexes on my pillow." 

Even though I make him sleep with my snot (yay, marriage!), he never gets sick. Ever. I'm the one taking a regiment of vitamins, running often and avoiding junk food. However, it appears a diet of peanuts and candy corn are what really keeps the doctor away. Screw the apples.

Regular, moderate running does boost your immune system but running more than 90-minutes at a time leaves the immune system flailing about. Not fair!

race report: kansas city half marathon

I woke up at 5:45 a.m. to turn the coffee pot on and headed back to bed for a few more minutes of sleep. I don't do well eating a lot before running but not eating anything before running for over two hours doesn't work either. So breakfast consisted of half a luna bar, half a cup of coffee, half a banana. I attached my racing chip and waited for my parents to arrive - my dad also ran his first half.

I was way nervous on the way to the race and almost cried when I left Shea and then when my dad started choking up, but when I got to my pace group and began chatting with the other runners I forgot I was terrified. I was planning to line up with the 2:20 pace group but couldn't push through the crowds and stayed with the 2:25 group. I really loved running with the pace team - Mary and Wally - who coached us the whole way on our form when running up the GIANT hill at mile 3 or backed us off when our pace got too fast. Or the cheers that kept the running fun - "big hill, little butt!"

Mile 1-3
I ran this route frequently in my training. I saw my mom and Shea right before conquering the first hill.The plan was to throw my jacket to Shea but they were on the other side of the road so I just kept going. The Kessler Road hill is brutal and I rarely ever make it up without walking but with the coaching from the pacers, I made it! "Lean forward, shorten your stride." And this was the view. How could you not love Kansas City?!

Mile 4-7
Stayed with my pace group. My favorite sign was "Sue Says, Run Fatties Run" at Westport Road. My group walked through the aid stations, which I stuck with water the whole way except one when I went for some nasty-tasting warm Gatorade. Grateful that I had several sticks of gum with me to keep my mouth from going dry. I chatted with a couple as I ran through the Plaza and was amazed I could easily talk as I ran. Turns out, pacing is effective.


Mile 8-10
Started to get knee pain and got increasingly worse. The bottoms of my feet started aching. Saw my mom, preggo friend Edie who came from Dallas to cheer me on, and Shea at mile 8 where I was able to finally shed my now sweaty jacket. Shea ran a little with me, and I refreshed with orange slices from a wonderful volunteer.

Though this section was mostly barren and spectator-less, it ran through rougher neighborhoods resulting in the most interesting cheers. I got ahead of my pace group at this point and found running alone was pretty darn lonely. Favorite spectator chant: "Don't look so miserable. Remember, this was your choice!"

Miles 11-13
I swear the mile markers were farther apart during this stretch. My knee pain got bad. If I kept running it was tolerable but when I walked for an aid station or to catch my breath, it was borderline excruciating when I started running again. Between 11 and 12 my stomach started cramping up. As we rounded the curve to head to the finish line chute, a volunteer shouted out: "Keep going, you're about to finish a half marathon!" And I choked up and got blurry eyed.

The long finishing chute was AWESOME and horrible at the same time. I finally saw Shea but was battling knee pain and fierce stomach cramps. I zeroed in on the finish line clock and finished at 2:24:44. My goal was to not start out too fast, and I succeeded with negative splits (second half faster than first). Did I mention that most importantly, I finished?

I'll post pictures soon of my super supporters who were waiting for me at the finish line.


Recovery
The finish line food consisted of a banana, yogurt and M&Ms. I totally could have used some chocolate milk. I've iced and heated my knee and took the most remarkable hot shower. We had Ingredient for lunch (turkey  avocado wrap and salad).

Then I proceeded to have stomach cramping all afternoon. Got some girl time with Edie and drank a huge bottle of Powerade and many glasses of water. I did not pee until midnight despite the fact I have probably drank my weight in liquid. I took a nap on the couch with my feet resting on Shea's lap - apparently doing a running motion for the entire hour-long nap.

Despite the burning knee and hips, I think I'm hooked. I've run over 270 miles since July. I never thought I could run more than five miles on a treadmill, let alone finish a half marathon in hilly Kansas City. It ranks as one of my greatest physical and mental challenges.

Next up? Nurse my IT band and pick my next goal. Another half? Maybe a full? A big ol' training break? Stay tuned!

a reminder

 "You also need to look back, not just at the people who are running behind you but especially at those who don't run and never will... those who run but don't race...those who started training for a race but didn't carry through...those who got to the starting line but didn't in the finish line...those who once raced better than you but no longer run at all. You're still here. Take pride in wherever you finish. Look at all the people you've outlasted."

- Joe Henderson

what I've learned from running

My running really started two years ago at a gym - always an hour of treadmill running; the same thing every day. I've gone from that to running 20-30 miles a week on asphalt with a doctor-ordered ban on treadmills. Treadmills taught me to watch a TV show intensely, ignoring the fact that my legs were moving. Training for a half marathon has taught me a lot about myself.

I have to plan ahead to accomplish my goals.
Running for two hours on a weekend requires planning - planning in what I eat the night before, the amount of water I drink and freeing up my schedule. I check the weather forecast more than the meteorologist. I had to become more creative when it got dark - learning how to run on my lunch break, avoiding side stitches that were inevitable with my evening runs. Without planning and adjusting priorities, runs didn't happen.

My body is capable of more than I thought possible.
In high school, I thought it was amazing that I ran a mile after school on an indoor track. A 5k race seemed out of reach. Running more than five miles? Impossible. I'd get side cramps, sore legs, be unable to breathe. But my body caught up fast. The more I ran, the better I got. During my training, my longest run has been 12.5 miles. I actually enjoyed it. My lung capacity has increased. My legs are strong. 


Pain is sometimes the reward.
There were some runs when I did not feel good. I didn't get a runner's high, and I ended my run feeling dehydrated, tired and crabby. But feeling the stretch in my quads, the achy calves and the sensitive feet made me feel alive. And the pain was a reminder of my effort. (note: this does not include my current knee pain. There is absolutely no reward in that.)

I need to work on mental toughness.
There's always an excuse for me to not run. It's too hot, too windy. I'm too busy. I didn't drink enough water or didn't eat the right foods. I deserve another day off. I gave in to these excuses way too often during my training. I still have logged over 250 miles since I started tracking on Daily Mile. 250! But, toward the last third of my training plan I got lazy. As the race approaches, I think of how much better I could do if I had stayed focused and motivated.


Eating with purpose
Before running I counted calories to make sure I didn't go over. I felt guilty when I had more than one cookie. Running long distance has taught me that eating is an act of fueling my body. The kinds of food (and amount) I eat depend on my running schedule. I listen to my body. When I am full, I stop. When it told me dairy and running don't mix, I changed my diet. When I am starving, I eat. I pay attention to protein and carbs. I am not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to get my body strong enough to run for two hours.

Bad things happen.
I followed my plan. I warned my runner father that he should be careful about adding mileage too quickly. I was the one limping and crying in pain and frustration due to an overuse injury. My last long run was two and half weeks ago with a few shorter runs mixed in. I could have stretched more, avoided that one rainy night on the treadmill or done more core workouts. But really, it just happened and with extremely bad timing. If I do run, it won't be fast. It won't be an accurate picture of what I can run. More incentive to keep training for the next one!

not benched yet

I went to the sports medicine clinic today. It started off well when I had to change into the clinic's version of a hospital gown - shorts with a drawstring that did not draw small enough requiring me to roll them over four times and finagle a boy-scout-level knot.

When the doc came in, I had to stand up straight, facing away from him.
Doctor: Um, can you straighten your left leg?
Me: Is this not straight?
Doctor: Oh boy.

He then pushed and prodded my knee and kept telling me I was tense. I explained that since his poking felt similar to a steak knife it was a bit hard to release my muscles. Following the torture, he determined I have IT band strain (called it!) and bursitis, which means the sacs of fluid around my knees are very swollen.

Long story short, I have an overuse injury despite the fact I did everything right. Except that one time I ran on a treadmill because it was raining. Which means I started the misery there and then continued to overcompensate for it while running outside.

My instructions 
1) Ice after running for 20 minutes
2) Moist heat three times per day, for 20 minutes
3) 500mg Naproxen (strong anti-inflammatory) twice a day
4) Run up to my pain tolerance
5) Follow-up appointment in two weeks
6) Never run on a treadmill again.

As for running my half-marathon in 11 days?  Doctor: "You definitely can. But you'll pay for it in pain the next day." The good news is I can't do any severe damage to my knee if I do decide to run. The bad news is I am the one who has to make the call. I did however get our ever-handy supply of codeine refilled.

I'm not deciding anything until the swelling goes down because last night I couldn't even make it through an hour-long church service with my knee bent. But I'm feeling a bit more optimistic that I'm not completely benched.

mad pain

Today I was supposed to run 12 miles while Shea went to a baseball game. Instead, I'm lying on the couch in pajamas with an ice pack on my knee and choking down four ibuprofen every four hours.

And it makes me mad. Mad, mad, MAD.

Thursday it wasn't awful. Just like a headache in the outside of my knee. It was stiff after sitting too long, and the pain only was bad when walking down stairs. But last night the pain was so bad I cried until the ibuprofen kicked in, and I fell asleep. I figured it was too much walking around the cider mill.

But today it's still hurting, and I've only walked from the car to a coffee shop. So tomorrow the plan is to call sports medicine doctors until someone has a same-day appointment opening.

I am hoping it's something that can get better in two weeks and I can still run my half-marathon even though it's not going to be as fast as I trained for. If not, maybe I can just run with my dad who is also racing but at a more manageable pace for someone with an injured knee. If I can't run because there is risk for permanent damage, then fine. I will be the loudest spectator on the sidelines.

But I'll be really really sad.

"You must listen to your body. Run through annoyance but not through pain." - George Sheehan  

Sunday night update: Leftover hydrocodone is a beautiful thing.

icing it up

My knee hurts.

I've scaled back on the running the last week and a half. Today I did a five-mile run, and I made it through but my knee is achy and tight. Tight like I wish someone would just pop it back into place.

Based on my research, I've self-diagnosed an IT band strain. This is where it hurts:

 Iliotibal band syndrome (ITBS) occurs when the IT band, which runs from the buttocks down and across the knee becomes tight and inflamed. Overpronation and bow-leggedness can also contribute. If caught early, you can recover in one to four weeks. Take anti-inflammatories one to two hours prerun, and stretch and ice postrun, says Irene Davis, Ph.D., P.T., of the University of Delaware. Reduce mileage, hills, and intensity. When you run on a track, rotate laps (1 mile clockwise, 1 mile counterclockwise). Tape your arches or wear orthotics. (Runners World)

 {Post five mile run. Ouch}

Other articles helped me trace the injury back to my treadmill sprints last week though it's been a long time coming with some aching in my hamstring and glutes. So I'm icing, and then this weekend I'll attempt my last long run. I'm putting my full marathon decision on hold to see how the creaky knee holds up.

Come on, knee. I just need 15 more days from you. Then I promise you can spend your weekend mornings lounging on the couch, drinking coffee and gorging on French toast.

missing: motivation

"Ask yourself: 'Can I give more?' The answer is usually yes." -Paul Tergat, Kenyan marathoner

Only 18 days til my first half marathon, and I have ZERO motivation. I cannot even express to you the poorness of this timing.

Last Thursday I ran intervals on the treadmill. I ran fast and loved it but did not love the fact the treadmill makes my knees hurt. And my left knee has felt jammed since then. Plus I haven't been drinking water, and I've had some wicked womanly symptoms. We had a busy, cold and rainy weekend so my only time to do my long run was Sunday night after a long weekend. I skipped it and watched three episodes of Dexter.

Now the weather is just awkward. It can't decide between tank top and shorts or a running jacket and tights. Tomorrow I'm headed to the running store for some new fall running clothes in hopes of reigniting my love. Then I'm going to find some new routes because if I have to keep running past people sitting on patios eating their delicious-smelling food, I will cry.

It's only 18 days. That's less than three weeks. I can do anything if it's temporary.

painful high

I've finally got a runner's high.

The long runs I've finished have left me hating running in the last mile - calves on fire, stomach souring and trying not to quit by falling into a tear-filled heap. But this one was different. I felt good from the start. I got faster in the second half of my run. I didn't walk except by choice so I could chug my Gatorade and water.

I got done with 12.5 miles and felt fantastic. Like I was a real runner. I finally have no doubt that the 13.1 miles I will face in three weeks are possible. That maybe I could even do more...

I showered super fast (Vikings kickoff and an impatient husband awaited), pulled on my new favorite compression sleeves and ate my peanut butter sandwich with chocolate milk.

Now it hurts. My hips, thighs, groin, butt and lower back are on fire though not as bad as when I got into bed last night, cringing. I'm trying to stop myself from eating everything in sight.

But the pain feels good. I earned it.