all for a tube of toothpaste

Yesterday after work I went to Walgreens to restock our toothpaste supply. Our neighborhood Walgreens makes itself famous by getting robbed at gunpoint pretty much every month. How this happens with a regular cop on duty and security cameras with attached strobe lights (so you know you're being watched) is beyond me.

I get my toothpaste and sigh as I get in line behind six people. The man that steps in behind me apparently had just completed his beer shower. To top it off, he has no sense of personal space and is reading my texts, which was going to be "OMG. The guy behind me SMELLS" but instead turned into "omg, story!"

At this point I am third in line. The guy paying is scruffly looking, possibly high, and has filled his mini-cart with grocery type items. As the cashier is scanning his purchases, he's carefully examining each key on his key ring - in slow motion. Now it's time to pay. The man continues to stare at his keys - one. by. one.

Cashier: "Honey, it's time to pay."

Scruffles: "I know. Can you do it for me?" (hands her key ring)

Cashier: "You don't have a card on here. I need your debit card."

Scruffles: "I know. Can you do it for me?" (hands her key ring again)

Cashier: "You have to pay. I need a debit card."

Scruffles. "Oh. Where is my wallet?"

Scruffles then proceeds to dig through the bags the cashier has just filled with his groceries, freaking out. 

Cashier: "Maybe it's in your shoulder bag?"

Light bulb! Scruffles hands the wallet to the cashier. She removes his debit card and starts scanning it at her computer. At the same time, Scruffles has found his Walgreens Rewards card and is scanning it repeatedly at the customer card reader - simultaneous actions the computer system is not meant to handle. 

Meanwhile, beer shower man screams out, "Look buddy. That card doesn't f***ing pay for things." Chaos. 

Finally, the very patient cashier takes over and grabs both the debit card and rewards card. Poor Scruffles gets his groceries and goes on his way. I wasn't sure whether he needed a hug or a ticket to rehab.

Twenty minutes later, I paid for my toothpaste.