lenten update

I told you about our Lenten season goals. Now on week 2, we've done pretty well.

Give $5 away
Week 1: Shea gave his first $5 to a homeless man who was helping a woman with a flat tire at the gas station. He asked for a tire gauge so Shea helped him out, and when the man asked for a $1, Shea gave him $5.

Week 2: Shea donated $5 to boy's basketball team raising money for uniforms. As a reward he fills out a bracket. I'd argue if he wins any of the small pool money he has to give that away, too.

I combined Week 1 and Week 2 monies and donated them to the Red Cross for Japanese disaster relief. Want to donate, too? Click here.

Pray together every night
We missed a few nights at the beginning but now we're in a rhythm. On our prayer lists:

- The baby boy. That he is growing healthy and strong. That God is working in his little heart so that he'll come to to know his heavenly father is the one that will always loves him the most.

- Gratefulness for the wonderfully kind and loving people we've met in Kansas City. It's only been a year since we've moved here but we have some pretty awesome friends who are there when we need them.

- Preparation for being parents. That although we cannot keep our apartment clean or our plants alive that we can not only keep another human being alive but teach him morals, faith and baseball.

- Other people. A friend who needs rest. A little sis who needs direction. Other soon-to-be parents that need preparation.

-Thankfulness for spring weather. 78 degrees tomorrow, people. That's worth a thousand prayers.

giving it up

Usually I give up something consumable for Lent. Chocolate, desserts, caffeine, candy, junk food. Being pregnant this year, I've already given up caffeine, alcohol, sushi, cold deli meat, most junk food, my beloved migraine drugs and my weekly portion of shark meat. If I give up more food (or drugs), I'll surely die.

We're not Catholic (yay meat on Fridays!) but I still love the tradition of remembering the Lenten season. We thought about giving up eating out but we're going on a 10-day vacation where cooking isn't an option. And really, how much am I growing in my faith when I mindlessly give up brownies or chicken fingers?

So here's our plan:
1. Add to our schedule the act of praying together every night. We do it sometimes when things are bad. Or one of us is six inches from the ledge or our tenants are smoking/jumping on the oven/refusing to pay rent. But unless it's meal time, it can be awkward. We tell each other everything but somehow laying it all out before God with the other person listening makes me squirm.

2. Sacrifice a portion of our monthly eating out budget for something better than high-sodium meals. We'll each have $5 week to either give away to someone who needs it or buy something for someone else that they need. I'll give you a report every Friday on how we've done. Teaser: Shea already gave his $5 away this morning. Overachiever. I don't even have cash.

the journey

Saturday morning we volunteered with our church to feed more than 100 homeless Kansas Citians looking for a warm meal. My job was to unwrap holiday hams and turn packets of powder into a meat glaze. Shea's job? Much more important.

We spent the morning cooking, decorating, cleaning and serving. A nice sojourner helped me carry a broken chair to the dumpster only to take a wrong turn. He thanked me for my chair donation and said it was now part of his camp. Saved him a dumpster dive I suppose.

When we left, we got a view of our church all ready for Christmas.

Tonight we came back for church. Sang all the familiar Christmas songs, watched a little Mary and Joseph greeted by three tiny sheep, and held hands with our neighbors. We talked about the journeys we all have to take that - sometimes not ones we'd like to take. Like being nine months pregnant, traveling for more than a week on the back of a donkey only to give birth to a baby that wasn't your husband's in the dirt among barnyard animals. Or knowing you have to travel around town to find a warm meal before sleeping between buildings in order to find shelter from the cold wind.

This weekend gave me some perspective on my journey this Christmas. No matter what the journey, God's walking it with me.

getting back on track

As noted by my series of sad, complaining blogs followed by a series of complete absence of blogging, I have been in a funk. Today I feel out of my funk. I can't make any promises for tomorrow, but here's my funk-ridding recipe, at least for a day.

Add five miles of running. I ran a mile outside before my throat burst into flames, and I was forced to get over my fear of showing up at the gym and having the front desk guy's make comments like "Oh, you still belong to this gym?" Two months ago I ran 13 miles with a hurt knee. Shove it. In my gym absence, it appears they've gotten the hint on adding new treadmills, eliminating the inappropriate angry girl pop videos and the addition of towels. They did not get the hint that standing two feet behind my treadmill for a 20-minute session of staring at my butt/talking on a cell phone is inappropriate for an employee. Take what you can get.

Add one bubble bath and with a side of a good book. Normally I hate baths, mostly because I never really clean my bathtub to an acceptable level. But I pushed through. And spent the evening reading The Girl Who Played with Fire. Unfortunately for me I though that I was reading the one about the hornet's nest, looked it up for the link and figured out who the bad guy Zala is. I had not figured that out yet. Damn. Must forget surprise ending.

Stir in one viewing of the Hallelujah Chorus. Even better if you watch it in flash mob, YouTube form, here. I cried. At work. Turns out that means, I am altruistic according to this study. Music chills equals more likely to give blood? Thankfully they think I'm too small to take my blood... I mean, otherwise I'd totally do it.

Add a pinch of  a clean kitchen and completion of a class. I was going to take a picture of my kitchen counter for you, but then realized no one would ever come over for dinner again. So now it's clean. And my grad school paper and presentation are done.

Top off with a heavy dose of perspective from a dear friend. A long talk with my wise friend reminded me that Christmas IS about celebration, love and eating a lot of cookies. But it's also about sacrifice and obedience. Everybody needs that kind of friend, who understands, hurts as much if not more than you and never ever would tell you you're crazy and blowing it out of proportion. I'm lucky!

praying for anapra

Tomorrow, my mom heads to Mexico. Not the part where there is turquoise water, white sand beaches and overflowing fruit platters. But the part you read about in the news.

We first went to Anapra in 2000 with my youth group. Back then it was just sand, cinder block houses with no electricity or running water. We came to help build a new school in a Juarez neighborhood where parents locked their kids at home so they wouldn't get into trouble while they rode a bus to a factory and worked for $1/hour. Along came a pastor, Antonio, who saw a need and moved his family to Juraez so he could teach adults to read and write in this room made of palettes and cardboard.

And then we arrived and helped pour the concrete for a new building. It took a week to build just the floor - mixing concrete by hand, twisting metal into rebar. At the end of the week, a bunch of teenagers stood in a circle around our concrete slab. We listened to prayers in Spanish and a man talk tearfully about how he'd found God that week.

"Asi alumbre vuestra luz delante de los hombres, para que vean vuestros buenos trabajos y glorifiquen a vuestro Padre que esta en los cielos." Mateo 5:16

And then other churches came. Buildings were built. Tile laid. Chalkboards hung. The Colegio Susana Wesley was born.

Four years ago, my family went back for Thanksgiving. And that little slab of concrete is now many buildings. It's a beautiful, vibrant school. 

And the kids are amazing. 

But as the situation in Juarez has deteriorated so has Anapra.The volunteers don't come as often. Antonio and his wife, Dina, are at risk for extortion or kidnapping because of their local status. The funding sources, who are also struggling to maintain their own budgets, aren't giving as much away.

So my mom and a team of people will go back this week to help out with repairs around the school. They will deliver supplies and a lot of love. It's the least they can do for the two people and their staff who give their lives in service in the face of violence because they believe in education and in God's love.

This week I'm praying. For my mom and the team's safety. For the kids of Anapra who grow up with the odds stacked against them. For the families who can look outside their cardboard houses and see the lights of the El Paso gated communities where there is enough food, enough education, enough jobs and enough safety. For our hearts to be moved - whether it's risking our comfort and safety to serve, collecting school supplies and clothing to give away because we have more than enough or simply signing up for the school's newsletter and praying.

And as we eat ourselves into a food coma next Thursday, make a list of all the stuff we want for Christmas, attend holiday parties and complain about the burden of our jobs, car repairs, the cost of decorations or the stress of family get-togethers, I hope we pause.

coveting prayers

We are landlords. Not by choice but by circumstance. Circumstances of the housing market sucks, we moved away and owe much more on a property than it's currently worth. Thank you banking industry.

Someday I will blog about the interesting situation we are in right now, when it's all in the past. And you will laugh, I guarantee it. But until this one moves into the laughing category, we would love your prayers.

Financially we are prepared for months without renters, but every month we have to cover rent is a month we're set back slightly in our other lofty debt reduction goals. Plus now we're in Kansas City, not Minnesota, so we have to rely on the help of others to handle the details if we do have to find new tenants. So far we've been very lucky, thanks to a super father-in-law. But it's a burden and the whole situation has probably raised our collective blood pressure to unhealthy levels.

When we moved to Kansas City a little less than a year ago, everything fell into place. Every worry we had financially, emotionally and otherwise was alleviated. We both found jobs. We found tenants. We found a cheap apartment. It taught us in a very real way that God provides. And I know He will again.

While you're at it though, do you think you could pray for my bum knee and the impending half marathon, and our ability to just rest? I'd throw in the Twins and K-State in there because they need some divine intervention but I won't press my luck.

faith without knowledge?

Turns out atheists in America know more about religion than those of us who believe in God.

We talk so much about faith being dead without works so we do a lot of community service and make casseroles for our church friends. Which is good. But what about knowledge? Faith without a foundation of knowledge is surely dead as well.


According to the survey results:

• 45 percent of Catholics did not know that their church teaches that the consecrated bread and wine in holy communion are not merely symbols, but actually become the body and blood of Christ. 
• 53 percent of Protestants could not identify Martin Luther as the man who started the Protestant Reformation.
• 55 percent know the Golden Rule is NOT one of the Ten Commandments
• 52 percent knew Ramadan is the Islamic holy month.

I want to know about my own religion so I know that my faith is grounded in historical accounts and a foundation of fact. I want to know about other religions because not only is it interesting but it strengthens my own faith in knowing why I believe this instead of that.

How much do you know?

Test your knowledge here: U.S. Religion Knowledge Survey.

love with no reward

I'm reading Crazy Love with my favorite friend Edie, who is unfortunately in Dallas and not near me. Lately this passage has been laying heavy on my heart.

"Lukewarm people love others but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves. Their love of others is typically focused on those who love them in return, like family, friends, and other people they know and connect with. There is little love left over for those who cannot love them back, much less for those who intentionally slight them."

Probably because it describes me all too well. It's so easy for me to love my friends. My parents. My husband. Even my neighbors and coworkers. My love overflows, and I try to show it.

But for the people that have slighted me? The ones who have hurt me deeply and intentionally? The people who never even gave me a chance or make my life a bit more uncomfortable than I would like? Or just the ones who don't meet my deadlines at work? My love fails. Miserably.

Sometimes I try to act out of love even when I don't feel it. Sometimes I crawl into a safe place within myself and don't even try. I certainly can't change my heart overnight but the one thing I can do immediately is realize that my actions toward others are between me and God. Not between me and them. And me treating them with love is an act of obedience to a God that commands me to act like Jesus.

I'll keep praying that my heart follows my brain. When I disobey daily, I am thankful for His overflowing grace.

bribing the unchurched

Would you go to church if it meant free tickets to a baseball game? What about if the church paid your utility bills? Or gave you a free car, house or flashy electronics just for playing along and filling their pews.

A church in Minneapolis is giving away free Twins tickets to first-time visitors to promote an "epic" sermon series with the "epicness" of baseball tickets. But this church is only following a trend. This church in Jacksonville, Florida paid the electricity bill for four visitors who attended their Easter services. But the king of all bribes, this church gave away 16 cars, 250 bicycles, 15,000 prize packs worth hundreds of dollars. electronics and furniture.

I both applaud the creativity and recoil at the thought. On one hand, it's probably effective marketing if your goal is to fill seats. And if someone who wouldn't normally step foot in a church door does because he loves the Twins, I believe God can use that to reach his heart. But realistically, how many new visitors come expecting to find God and develop a weekly habit of church attendance?

When we first looked for churches after our move to KC, one church handed out chips and salsa to its visitors followed up by a $5 gas card in the mail. I don't get salsa. The gas card was for our next visit. But instead of visiting again, I wondered if the money I put in the offering plate would be used for another visitor's gas budget or to help support the children's programs, printing of the programs or outreach to those who need it.

The church we attend now followed up after our first Sunday with a visit to our apartment complete with canvas bag and brochures. The difference is I didn't go to church expecting something in exchange, though who wouldn't give up a Sunday for a new canvas bag?! One day our pastor gave us Popsicles to "feed his sheep" during a sermon because our church has zero air conditioning. And if you haven't caught on from previous blog posts, it's hot here. But no one came there expecting them as a reward.

Even though we're all adults and capable of making informed, responsible choices, we still need bribes. Get a free pedometer if you promise to stop sitting around and use your feet! Win a trip to Hawaii if you lose weight and reduce your risk of heart disease and diabetes! Get paid cash to stop smoking - as if the chance to live a long life free of lung cancer isn't enough incentive.

Wouldn't it be great if we made choices based on wanting a healthy, fulfilling life with a perspective on something other than ourselves and this world?

If you win church members' hearts in exchange for material goods, are they then committed more to God or more to materialism?

Lost cat!

As we were walking out of the house to go run, I commented that I hadn't seen Pica the cat for quite awhile. After a 15-minute frenzy searching our 950-square-foot apartment, we realized she had most likely succeeded in her attempt to run into the hallway while we were doing laundry.

We ran up and down all seven floors on both sides of the renovated historic hotel we live in. We searched behind the washers and dryers, under the lobby couches, behind the bookshelves. She was no where.

At this point we actually consider she could be outside. Either on her own accord, with the help of a cat-hating neighbor or possibly jumped out our window, which is three floors. So we walk around the neighborhood for the next hour, calling her name and even resorting to Mac the dog's skills. (none) We made signs for the elevators and the mailboxes. 

Meanwhile I am imagining the cat fights, the busy streets, the fiesty dogs, and the crazy people. Shea and Mac just stared - sympathetic and helpless.

At 8 p.m., she'd been gone for at least 10 hours, and it was getting dark. My already panicked state was increasing and the tears were flowing freely. I called my mom who made more sign suggestions. As we were going down to tape them up, I saw a tuft of white fur on the stairs to the second floor. And then Shea announced, "there she is!" Her little round eyes, peering through a crack from behind a propped open fire door.

I carried poor Pica to the apartment, and Shea fed her gourmet canned cat food. We had been out of dry food and weren't sure what to do at the grocery store. Saved AND fed well. Plus, I made Shea name the things he liked about her now that she was back safe. "Well...she's soft."

When I called my mom to tell her the good news, her response was: "Well I am not surprised. Grandma, Aunt Nan and I just all started praying a few minutes ago." The women in my family rise to the occasion with the power of prayer. He loves them, all the creatures great and small.

Hard-working faith

We spent the morning gardening at the Healing House in northeast Kansas City with our church. Every month a group gets together and lives out James 2:18; "I will show you my faith by what I do."

So we planted flowers in a hilly, rocky, root-infested and extremely clay soil (that last one is for you, Dad). Shea spent much of his morning digging and chopping out tree stumps. They provided us lunch as a thank you, mmmm hot dogs.

And after a stop by the farmer's market and a Sonic Strawberry Limeade Chiller, which might be my new favorite thing in the world, we came home and crashed. I woke up and could barely stand to move my quads and back. A sign we're getting old, sigh.

Sometimes faith is hard work!

Bread and sacrifice

Thursday night we went to church for a combination of a Maundy Thursday and Good Friday service. It's my favorite service of the whole year. It's quite bloody and sad, but the most real service I think you can attend.

We both walked away with a new sense of the reason for communion. Though I know what communion represents, it's a difficult thing to internalize when it's not Holy Week. When we first started attending this church, we both balked at the idea of communion every single week. It means taking off my coat. Getting up from my seat. Walking in front of people. Eating something that frankly leaves a less than desirable after taste.

But this time our pastor gave us the visual of Jesus ordering dinner at the Last Supper with sides of greed, selfishness, hate, laziness, indifference, jealousy, stubborness, pride, etc. Because he was strong enough to take it on. And in return, he gave us grace in the form of his body. And all he asks is for us to eat it.

So my new challenge is that everytime I have to leave my seat for communion to eat the just-OK-tasting bread is to remember that my stubborness, pride, procrastination, PMS-induced irritability and anger taste a whole lot worse. And because of a painful sacrifice, it's now the best tasting bread and grape juice ever made.