Monday, April 26, 2010

Our Marriage Rule: Opposite Sex Friends & Strip Clubs

After reading this post at the ever-annoying, but boredom-killing The Nest web site, I got to thinking about opposite sex friendships.

This hasn't ever been an issue with us for the most part, though occasionally we are faced with the dilemma of connecting with old friends, and sometimes even exes. For us, it's just a no. We don't hang out with members of the opposite sex alone. We don't do strip clubs, porn, or other activities that jeopardize the respect and sacredness of our bond. 

Last year, we attended a sermon series at our Minnesota church, Eagle Brook, on marriage. And though I can't really remember the overall theme of that particular week, the story that hit home was on outside perception. If people see you in a car with someone of the opposite sex who is not your spouse, what would they automatically think? What would they think about your relationship with your wife if they saw you front row center at a strip club? As humans with instinctive qualities (especially males) is it worth it to put ourselves in tempting situations even if it's just thoughts? We want clean hands but also clean eyes and thoughts. Our marriage isn't worth a lunch date with an ex, a weekend of tempting choices, or an evening at a strip club.

We trust each other, 110 percent. We've never had a breach of trust, or even a hint of it, in the time we've known each other. But I wonder if part of that is because of the standards we've chosen to be married by. Our rules work for our marriage alone. They work for us because of who we are and the kind of marriage we desire to have. And on this issue, we're in total agreement.

1 comment:

  1. It's an interesting topic. When you consider the high percentage of divorces and the surprising amount of infidelity that occurs, it seems like more people should have a rule like this.

    We don't have a rule like that, and I do frequently dine out with male ex-coworkers or friends. I guess I have always had platonic friends of the opposite sex, and at least on my end there has been 0% romantic interest with any of them. I would never, ever catch up with someone who used to be a romantic interest. I don't even Facebook friend them. My family and marriage are way more important to me than that.