Friday, May 7, 2010

100 things my mother taught me

1. Adding milk to scrambled eggs makes them better.
2. Use your hands to mix meatloaf.
3. Don’t take everything personally that your husband says. Especially if he’s working on a home project.
4. Birdie bites fix all illnesses.
5. Don’t lick cocoa off your hands. It does not taste like chocolate.
6. Coffee after 8 p.m. is normal.
7. Don’t say the mean things you’re thinking in your head. Just tell your mother about them.
8. Read the signs in museums. You’ll learn more.
9. Most things can be done without the help of a man.
10. Mashing potatoes are not one of these things.
11. Bags of shredded cheese can be frozen.
12. Don’t tell your parents about your fights with your spouse.
13. Write thank you notes. Always. Even if they are late.
14. Wash your fruit before taking a bite.
15. The eating of dinner is not a marathon, and should not be completed in five minutes.
16. When cleaning your house the day before company comes, utilize your closet space.
17. Read to your children every day, starting on day one.
18. You don’t always need to tell people how you feel.
19. You probably won’t meet your best friends until you’re older.
20. Look for a reason they said or did that. It's probably not about you.
21. It’s not enough to just show up at church every Sunday.
22. “Suck” is not a nice word.
23. Develop your own hobbies and passions.
24. Cranberry apple juice does, in fact, come out of the carpet.
25. The risk of salmonella poisoning from raw cookie dough is worth it.
26. Aluminum foil can be used twice.
27. God Bless America sung repeatedly can soothe a baby on a long car ride.
28. Wear your seatbelt.
29. Forks on the left, spoons on the right.
30. Read constantly.
31. Wash the floor on your hands and knees. Forget the mop.
32. Every dinner includes a vegetable.
33. Write letters to your grandma.
34. Don’t be a popular parent. Be a good one.
35. Take calcium daily.
36. When trying to get your child to meet a former president, it’s best to not rush secret service members.
37. You’ll appreciate it more if you pay for it yourself.
38. Rarely should you use real butter.
39. Don’t store plastic items in the oven.
40. Always hook your bras before putting them in the washing machine.
41. Egg beaters are a fine substitute.
42. Unfinished basements are only for immediate family members.
43. Taking more than two Tylenol at once will not kill you.
44. Let your children pursue their dreams regardless of your feelings.
45. Don’t put your underwear in the dryer.
46. You can work on getting healthy and fit at any age.
47. Your low-rise jeans should not show your crack.
48. Sometimes the best response is no response.
49. Turn off the lights when you leave the room.
50. Keep the space under your bed clean.
51. It doesn’t matter if the other kids are doing it. You are not going to.
52. Don’t answer unknown numbers.
53. Dish rags are cheaper than paper towels.
54. You receive much of what you get in life because your parents worked hard to provide it for you.
55. Recycle. Recycle. Recycle.
56. Stay up on the news in the world. Even if you’re two weeks behind in newspapers.
57. Drink milk with dinner. Make it skim.
58. Don’t ask permission to have someone over to play in front of them. The answer will be no.
59. Be present. Don’t wish you were somewhere else.
60. The best cheesy newspaper headlines are in the sports section.
61. Be forgiving when others make mistakes. You make them, too.
62. A Christmas tree in every room is way better than one in the living room.
63. Generic supermarket brands are just fine, expect when baking.
64. Don’t want to eat snacks? Don’t buy them.
65. Trust is easy to lose, and hard to earn back.
66. Two cookie maximum.
67. You do not have to smile all the time to indicate you are happy.
68. If you have blue eyes, you look best in blue clothing.
69. The correct name for a nightgown is “gowner.”
70. Be a role model. People are watching.
71. Establish a church family. They will be there when something happens, often with casseroles.
72. Share your time, money and talents with those less fortunate.
73. Don’t gossip. About anyone. Ever.
74. Offer to give a homeless person your hamburger not your dollar.
75. Be curious about the world around you and its history.
76. Everybody has to be the committee chairperson once.
77. You probably don't need it.
78. White chocolate mousse frozen yogurt from TCBY is to die for.
79. Change your sheets often. Aim for hospital corners.
80. Some things are not OK. There are blacks and whites.
81. You can't wear shorts if the high is less than 70 degrees.
82. Puzzles are a fantastic family activity as long as a curfew is imposed.
83. Milk is good several days after the expiration date.
84. Always lick the bowl.
85. Don't be afraid to be silly no matter what  your age.
86. Don't fight in front of your kids.
87. A small family can hold just as much love as a big one.
88. Only keep traditions if they are still fun. If not, make new ones.
89. The best point in your life is when you no longer care what anyone else thinks of you.
90. Make two lasagnas and freeze one for later.
91. You do not need five pairs of similar looking shoes.
92. Don't tell anyone when you're trying to get pregnant.
93. Thanksgiving dinner doesn't have to be eaten in November.
94. Sometimes we all have to do things we don't want to.
95. Go to the dentist every six months, and the gynocologist every year.
96. Raspberry chipotle dip - a crowd pleaser!
97. Matlock is a fantastic show.
98. Behind every successful and confident man is a supportive and even stronger wife.
99. Pray before you eat. Pray before you sleep.
100. There is nothing like a bond between a mother and daughter, especially as they grow older.

9 comments:

  1. I love this Sarah. It gives me so much insight on how you became who you are!

    Thanks Sue (and Chuck) for raising such a wonderful woman!

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  2. I find it very entertaining that my mother taught me some things that are the exact opposite of what your mother taught you -- butter, for example. However, I think we can all agree that Matlock is a fantastic show.

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  3. I agree with Jo - #38 is false.

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  4. Paper towels are amazing! Also, the area under our bed is not clean at all...

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  5. Well that's what happens when you're born with high cholesterol. However, I have found only a few cookies actually need real butter. True story.

    Shea- that's because we don't have closets. And organized tubs do not count. Dog puke under the bed? Breaking the rule for sure.

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  6. I've realized half of these things I didn't know prior to us dating...hmmm...I learned a lot from your mom too

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  7. Awwww....!! You were listening!!

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  8. Raspberry Chipotle Dip!!

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  9. wow, these are awesome! I hope someday my daughter can grow up to remember small but important lessons I teach her! Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman

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