dark-haired midget children

Shea: "Well, I think I'd like to be 27 before we had a baby."
Sarah: "ummm...what?"
Shea: "OMG! Am I 26 right now?"
Sarah: "Yes, yes you are."

We've been talking about babies. And their timing. And whether we want one of those. Basically because it's a requirement that after you get married you start having baby fever - the kind of fever that two Tylenol does not cure, and you still have to go to school.

Somedays I really want one mostly so that I can buy it clothes, and little blankets with ducks on them. Plus it'll be neat to see what happens when our genes merge though our kids are most likely going to be dark-haired midgets. It's like one big science experiment! And then I get to name it, which I've been doing for decades with stuffed animals and dolls as fill-ins. Peter the rabbit, Shaggy the dog, the Bad Gorilla (he never did well in fake school) and Brownie the brown bear. With this trend, we'll probably be introducing our kids as Short the boy and Pigtails the girl.

There are other days when I am fine waiting. First, because I cannot imagine a baby coming out of there. But mostly because sometimes I really enjoy my time with Shea. It's not really the happy hours or vacations. It's more just being able to come home, make dinner, have a glass of wine and watch back-to-back episodes of whatever TV show we're going through. I like getting up at 5:30 am to run and going to bed at 9 p.m. without interruptions.

I worry about no sleep. About the fact that I do not really like little babies. Except when they are on Etsy with their teeny tiny arms folded underneath their head with a cute knitted hat. Those ones are cute. But when they are spitting up on my shoulder, which is possibly the worst smell ever, I do not like them. I worry about miscarriages and SIDS. I worry that when we start trying (dear family members: we are NOT trying so back your truck right on up.), it will take forever. And then I will have to be on fertility drugs. And then I will have EIGHT babies. Or maybe we'll try, and it will never happen. Then I will have to do a lot of research on how to adopt children from Haiti without being jailed for kidnapping.

Also, I have a tilted uterus.