Monday, May 3, 2010

Our Marriage Rule: Spouse First

I think this was a hard one at first. 

Sometimes it means that I have had a long day but his day has been worse. So I divert from my usual path home and pick up a bottle of wine. Or sometime it means he wants to watch a baseball game but instead he sits at the dinner table while I go on and on about something I decide I don't care about the next day. And it for sure means that he puts the sheets on the bed and I clean the toilet since we know the other one can't stand that cleaning duty.

Other times it's harder then whipping out the toilet brush. When I REALLY just want to lay in bed and read a book but instead I indulge in conversation involving the psychological aspect of that double play or analyzing the footwork of the next draft pick. When I asked the hubs what was hardest about putting me first, he ironically said when he wants to watch sports and I want to go do something else. It's clear we'd both be happier if he just watched sports.

But it also means that when we're with family or friends, our loyalty is always to each other first. If a friend needs me but Shea needs me at the same time, Shea wins. If there are conflicts in our families, we always take each other's sides. Though we give a lot of our time to others, we have to make sure there is enough reserved for the person who means the most.

Right now, I think we've mastered this pretty well. When we have kids to raise and a house to clean? Probably will take a lot more effort.

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