Friday, June 11, 2010

ice in the underwear

On one of our recent road trips I was reading blogs on Shea's iPhone. And several posts about what life is like after giving birth - the physical part - made me have to put my head between my knees. On more than one occasion.

I am not seeking these blogs out. They are finding me at every turn. Haunting me.

I have spent the last few weeks asking everyone I know who has had a child if this horror is really true. My mom rolled her eyes (OK, it was on the phone but I guarantee she was doing it) and told me "that's ridiculous." Mother-in-law says I'll just love my baby so much that I won't care. My friend Kristin says it's just like a bad period. I also think they are all lying.

But these blogs, yikes. There are tales of wearing ice packs in your underwear. One girl took notes on her iPhone each time she went to the bathroom. Blood. Tearing. Pain. Fear. I can't tell you more. My breakfast is now in my throat, and I am crossing my legs with alarming strength.

Then there are the picture of stomachs that look like cottage cheese. And in all honestly, I am quite fond of my tummy. I don't mind having to workout to lose weight but if the texture of my skin resembles curdled milk...ACK.  My mom says this is also silly. I was born in November and she was back to her starting weight of 110, and then five pounds lighter by spring. With no trace of a stretch mark. Thank God we share genes.

We're not even talking about babies really. Which is why I emailed Shea this morning to tell him I'd like to wait to have kids until they develop a way to have children pain and gross free. But also naturally because despite all this information, I am still determined to give birth naturally. Because if you couldn't already tell, I am crazy.


  1. AnonymousJune 11, 2010

    LOVE. Also, I think you should post more of what your mom says, as it makes me feel much better about childbearing. Even though we don't share genes - we DO have the same middle name. :)

  2. I think there is an unspoken pact that you should never talk about the realities of giving birth to someone who hasn't. Ignorance is bliss. These blog writers shouldn't be spilling the beans...

  3. AnonymousJune 13, 2010

    I'm the one that like to warn people about what really happens. The reason is that I had an emergency c-section, it saved my (then unborn) son's life but it also has caused a lot of issues (pain, things I won't go into) for me in the long run. I don't know what a normal birth is like and yes I have met some women who are like your mom and hop back to 110 lbs a few months after the birth. This was not the case with me and I'm still struggling to get rid of what I gained.. which is a pain, I loved my body :-( .

    There are people who try to tell me the scar is "a beautiful reminder" and I should just accept it, etc.. I want to punch them in the face. My body/skin is extremely sensative to trauma and I didn't find this out until after the birth. I wish someone had prepared me for both sides, both possibilities of the birth. Going through it then was so much for me that I honestly didn't want to have any more kids ever again. However, here 3 years later, I am debating the possibilty of having them.. maybe 4-5 years from now though. ^_~

    The reality of it is this: it's going to suck. It's going to hurt. It's going to be painful, no matter what method is used on that day. Our bodies react to things differently and so will yours. One thing is for certain, time will pass and when you look at the amazing child in front of you, it will be worth it. I wish all the time I had not gotten a c-section, but it saved my son's life so it was worth everything I've been through. Even on the days where you want to scream or pull your hair out from the stress, that child will climb on your lap, give you a hug and say " I love you Mommy " and those are the days that you'll remember more than anything. :)