i'm blaming this on eve

This post is going to be about cramps, the girl kind. So if that makes you weak in the knees, go read someone else's blog, reconsider the fact you want to be married to a woman someday, and come back tomorrow. 

I used to get cramps really bad. One of my first memories is sitting in zoology class and not being able to stand up to walk to the lab tables because the pain was so bad. My mom would often have to pick me up from school and greet me with a heating pad.

Then I got on the pill because that helps. And for the most part, I don't get that kind of pain anymore.

Until yesterday.

I take Imitrex for migraines when Tylenol won't do the trick. I am guaranteed an intense migraine the day I stop taking my pills as my hormones switch over. So right on cue, Monday night I had to fumble around in the bathroom cabinet for my magic yellow head pills.

Tuesday as I was walking out the door for work, they hit. Like a baseball bat to the knees. I managed to drive to work, but sitting up straight in my chair was a lot to ask. I took three Tylenol, which might as well have been candy. I swear that for a brief second I considered the fact that perhaps I had been pregnant the last nine months without knowing it, and this was the beginning of labor.

Turns out, the medicine that narrows the blood vessels in my head to stop the migraines also narrows the blood vessels in my woman parts causing P-A-I-N. This is extremely convenient since both things always happen at the same time every month.

Seriously, if being a woman wasn't hard enough.