Friday, March 25, 2011
learning to share
18 weeks and 19 weeks + 2 days.
I'll be honest. This visual part of the pregnancy is taking some getting used to. For the first four months, my pregnancy was very personal. I shared the fun stuff in my blogs but the emotional parts, the icky feelings, the fear and the joy were mostly private. I was the one who felt sick, who felt better, who decided what to eat and drink, and the only one who could feel him kicking. I had the real bond. Sure, the hubs could bond when we heard the heartbeat or saw the sonogram but not in the same way. It was all MINE.
Now that I'm showing more, there are emotions I didn't see coming. Everybody has a comment or piece of advice. The first thing people look at is my belly. It's either "ooh baby!" or "wow, you're really small." But there are days when I feel really big and fat and frankly, I don't want to talk about it. And now that we have cool pictures, the little boy is no longer just mine. He belongs to a lot of people who love him very much already. We are amazingly blessed, but the sharing is an adjustment.
I'll get used to the attention, the comments, the advice and the comparisons. Sometimes though, I feel like slapping a "Keep Out" sign on my belly and slamming the door so I can go sulk in MY room with MY son.
And seriously, can someone bring me MY chocolate milk?