Friday, March 25, 2011

learning to share

18 weeks and 19 weeks + 2 days.

I'll be honest. This visual part of the pregnancy is taking some getting used to. For the first four months, my pregnancy was very personal. I shared the fun stuff in my blogs but the emotional parts, the icky feelings, the fear and the joy were mostly private. I was the one who felt sick, who felt better, who decided what to eat and drink, and the only one who could feel him kicking. I had the real bond. Sure, the hubs could bond when we heard the heartbeat or saw the sonogram but not in the same way. It was all MINE.

Now that I'm showing more, there are emotions I didn't see coming. Everybody has a comment or piece of advice. The first thing people look at is my belly. It's either "ooh baby!" or "wow, you're really small." But there are days when I feel really big and fat and frankly, I don't want to talk about it. And now that we have cool pictures, the little boy is no longer just mine. He belongs to a lot of people who love him very much already. We are amazingly blessed, but the sharing is an adjustment.

I'll get used to the attention, the comments, the advice and the comparisons. Sometimes though, I feel like slapping a "Keep Out" sign on my belly and slamming the door so I can go sulk in MY room with MY son. 

And seriously, can someone bring me MY chocolate milk?


  1. Wow. You put into words a feeling I've had since I was pregnant with John. The good thing is that you don't always have to share. :) Breastfeeding is wonderful in that respect. I think that's why I'm still nursing Mark. During those two peaceful times of day, he is mine and no one else's.

    I think you look wonderful!

  2. Oh Chocolate Milk. I wish I were there. I'd get us BOTH some.

    I loved all the attention when I started showing. Our society really celebrates pregnant women. People are SO excited to talk to you and hear if its your first and how you're feeling and to offer advice. (Texans especially like to offer advice.)

    Then I had Ryle and all of a sudden HE was the one being celebrated and I felt a little let down and that made me feel like a spoiled brat.

    The point is - pregnancy, like marriage, is a way God shows us our self-focused tendencies. Ultimately the things that remind us that it is not all about us point us to who it IS all about - the God who created that little guy in your belly and already knows his name, his eye color, every hair on his head and the number of his days.

    I'll be praying for you to keep the laser-shooting eye thing to a minimum, and also for the first random stranger who comes up and pats your belly. THAT person will need some prayer. :)

    Love you girl. Love hearing about your journey.

  3. Edie good comment. The Laser shooting eye thing was hilarious. You know Sarah all too well...and I know that eye thing all too well...hahaha

  4. Well so far, you look great :-) Good luck on the rest of your pregnancy!