Until I reached 12 weeks of pregnancy, I was scared at every little twinge or ache. It's the magic week when the risk of losing the baby goes way down. So we didn't post our news on Facebook or write about it here. We talked guardedly, even with each other.
And then we sighed with relief, and the little baby started bumping around to let me know he was OK. But as I was driving home from work, just two weeks shy of halfway done, my usual hip and back pain seemed more than the usual stretching. Quite intense pain, actually. Instead of panicking all night, I called the doctor's office before they closed. It seems if you want to avoid the staff and nurses all you have to say is "cramping" and suddenly my midwife's comforting voice is there.
After a long list of questions, she told me to drink four glasses of water, get off my feet and take Tylenol. And if it wasn't better in 90 minutes, call and they would meet me at the hospital. I hung up, got myself water and broke down. Because now that we're so far along I only think about life with the little guy, not without him. I cried, rubbed my belly saying his name and willing him to be OK.
It's been three hours (and five glasses of water later), and my body hurts but back to the normal stretching feelings. I was so busy at work today that I didn't get even drink close to my 10 glasses of water, which can apparently cause bad cramping and mild contractions. Plus the normal round ligament pain I've been having can go through periods of intensity.
As scary as it was, I realized how much I love him. How much I need him. How much his future is in someone else's hands.
And how I will drink my 10 glasses of water every single day until I meet him face to face.